The [Sports] Gods Must Be Crazy...

(Incoming self-centered, completely subjective, fanboy rant... enjoy.)

You know, I'm not a particularly religious man - I don't normally believe that there are special Gods that control individual facets of human life, nor do I believe that anything I do or say has any sort of spiritual influence on a team's performance. However, lately, I am convinced that there must be some sort of "sports Gods" that really do exist; and something I said must have really rubbed them the wrong way.

Perhaps it was in late February when I publicly ragged on Wayne Gretzky for picking a shit team to send to Torino... maybe it's that I recently told some friends my top-3 favourite ballers of all-time, all being white guys (Stockton, Maravich and Nash, for those curious) and none being Michael Jordan (he's up there, stop crying)... I can't even think of any other potential fodder. The reason I say all this is because - as you have likely assumed from the picture - every team that I have thrown my support behind, since the turn of '06, has gone on a spectacular run, only to be fucked sideways in the end. It just so happens that those four teams are my favourites in their respective leagues.

Early January saw the Denver Broncos cap off an impressive 13-3 run (impressive because everyone automatically assumed that Jake Plummer didn't know quarterbacking from a hole in the ground), followed up by a win against the "unstoppable" New England Patriots. Long story short, the Broncos get ass-fucked in the AFC Championship by the eventual Super Bowl Champions, the Pittsburgh Steelers. That, by itself, is nothing. However, being blindsided by losses and eliminations, in the last 2 days, has led me to believe that the Broncos loss was just a nice little piece of foreshadowing. How often is it that you find someone who has three of their teams eliminated from their respective contentions, in the span of only 2 days? Not often. I'd even argue closer towards never. Let's continue, shall we...

The Edmonton Oilers: Ahh, my childhood hockey team. Through thick and thin, I've continued to hang onto the bandwagon, even if it was by my fingertips grasping the back bumper. They finally go on an amazing run, overcome some odds, no one thought they could do it, fine and dandy... couldn't win the actual big one when it counted, when the Stanley Cup was in grasp. Eliminated Monday.

Trinidad and Tobago: Up until their draw against Sweden, I didn't realistically expect them to have a chance. All they needed yesterday was a 2 goal-win against Paraguay, and for Sweden to lose to England, while being held scoreless. Doesn't seem that unreasonable, no? Coincidentally enough, the exact opposite happened (hold the Swedes winning, they ended in a draw). This one was the least depressing because at least the team was entertaining, if not for their football skills, for Dwight Yorke's near masturbation on camera and the fact that Russell Latapy got into yesterday's match despite being 37-years-old and currently smoking two packs a day. Only in Trinidad, folks...

The Dallas Mavericks: With the two aforementioned losses having happened back-to-back, I completely forgot about tonight's Miami/Dallas matchup. How nice of a surprise it was for me to switch to ABC and suddenly see D-Wade clasping the Larry O'Brien Trophy and Disco Dirk's head hanging in disappointment. I see that Miami, at least, gets to complete their comeback. Go figure...

I guess what I'm getting at here is that, if any of you guys have teams that you don't want to see win a championship this year - or maybe even teams that you've wagered money against - feel free to let me know, so that I can start showing support for them. I'm riding lower than the '75 Washington Capitals right now; might as well use this newfound hex of mine to help some people out. Go Brazil Go!